"So called 'urban raccoons' attack the City of Olympia in Washington. So far they killed 10 cats, have
bitten one dog, and one pet owner
(not necessarily in that order). Residents arm themselves against
You probably read about these raccoons recently in The New York Times,
a daily newspaper with a
circulation of 18 trillion. Of course you don't believe a word of it.
You think publications like The New York Times make everything up.
So did I, and when I first saw their story, for the moment I thought
I was reading the scenario to Martin Scorsese's "Gangs of New York".
Yet, The New York Times and every other major newspaper claims that 'urban raccoons are for real and they are not afraid'.
Newspapers don't actually tell you there are
23,520,102, 370,754,235,929 raccoons in Washington,
who are starting a guerrilla war, but they let you be the detective and
put two and two together.
That and the fact that you should stay a way from Olympia, Washington
for the time being.
Because if there's anything raccoons
like to do is to have their way with your pets, steal your credit
cards, and torture you with the most
horrible country music. I might have the wrong list here. Anyhow,
you've gotta remember that
every raccoon who attacks Washingtonian is a friend of a man
has a short life span.
Keeping that in mind I think we should try the approach which proved
to work in the past.
You catch all male raccoons in Washington, sterilize them and drop
them from airplanes onto the affected area,
where they mate with the females, who don't get pregnant, and there
That, or catch all the female raccoons and put them on pills.
Until then we need to help The New York Times (and other newspapers)
with the pictures of these raccoons
which they failed to publish in their stories. Thus, in this contest
you are asked to photoshop
'raccoons behaving badly' - meaning raccoons causing a threat, or
problems to humans.