Bathroom Chess

Contest Info

  • Started: 10/3/2006 06:00
  • Ended: 10/5/2006 06:00
  • Level: advanced
  • Entries: 13
  • Jackpot:
  • FN Advanced 1st Place $20
  • FN Advanced 2nd Place $12
  • FN Advanced 3rd Place $8
Bathroom Chess
Contest Directions: [ The chess world is in crisis. The biggest chess match in the world almost came to a halt, after one of the players (Vladimir Kramnik of Russia) was accused of taking too many bathroom breaks - over 50 per game - apparently to use a computer or other device to help him with his moves. ] Remember the scene from the God Father movie, where Al Pacino goes to the bathroom to get his gun and comes back blowing everyone's brains out? Kramnik wanted to do just this, but didn't have the guts to pull the trigger, so he had to try it 50 times. For which I applaud him, because rather than shooting his opponent, Kramnik decided to have a clean victory. And by clean I mean no brains scattered on the floor. Attaboy!
In this contest you are asked to add bathroom element into chess playing by photoshopping one of the following:
1) Photoshop Vladimir Kramnik playing chess sitting on a "potty".
2) Introduce bathroom elements to a chess championship room, so that players don't have to interrupt.
3) Design a new logo for world Chess Championship 2006.
4) Redesign the chessboard and chess figures to add miniature "potties".

P.S. Shortly after posting this contest I received the following letter: Monsieur, I was shocked to see that the topic of your new contest invited members to depict M. Kramnick using the toilettes. Is this really the image of a serious website you wish to give to visitors ? Can you imagine the chagrin of M. Kramnick's family if ever they should come on these ineptly faked pictures ? My recent entry, "Elmo's Potty Time", refused on spurious grounds, tastefully showed our little furry friend in a typical French rest room, with the mamans helping les petits. This is the sort of educational entry you should be encouraging, rather than sordid scatological obscenity showing "chess players" bodily functions. signed, an anonymous French future ex-member (Légion Etrangère retd.)

Contest Info

    • Started: 10/3/2006 06:00
    • Ended: 10/5/2006 06:00
    • Level: advanced
    • Entries: 13
    • Jackpot:
    • FN Advanced 1st Place $20
    • FN Advanced 2nd Place $12
    • FN Advanced 3rd Place $8
13 pictures
  • Toilet Chess Pieces

    Toilet Chess Pieces
  • Vladimir Kramnik Sitting in a Toilet Chess Piece

    Vladimir Kramnik Sitting in a Toilet Chess Piece
  • Chess Bathroom Curtain

    Chess Bathroom Curtain
  • Chess

    Chess
  • Playing a Chess Tournament in the Bathroom

    Playing a Chess Tournament in the Bathroom
  • Street Chess with Urinal Pieces

    Street Chess with Urinal Pieces
  • Vladimir Kramnik World Champ with a Catheter

    Vladimir Kramnik World Champ with a Catheter
  • World Chess Championship Vladimir Kramnik Playing in the Toilet

    World Chess Championship Vladimir Kramnik Playing in the Toilet
  • Portable Chess Bathroom

    Portable Chess Bathroom
  • Vladimir Kramnik Sitting on a Toilet During Chess Game

    Vladimir Kramnik Sitting on a Toilet During Chess Game
13 image entries
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This contest is fueled by the following news: History tells us that chess was created to serve as an alternative to war. In fact, chess can involve as much thought, strategy and what have you as does real battle, real war. Presently, the biggest chess match in the world has now been plunged into chaos and crisis after an allegation that one of the players in this major event used bathroom breaks to obtain play advice from a computer. Bulgarian Veselin Topalov and Russian Vladimir Kramnik played up to a draw on Monday in game six of the world championship of chess. Kramnik had agreed to resume play after a dispute over bathroom breaks threatened the tournament. Kramnik does have a lead in the 12 game tournament, 3.5 to 2.5. Kramnik actually forfeited game 5 of the tournament and the announced a boycott after an appeals committee ruled against him in electing to lock the private bathrooms for both players. The players are now required to use a public restroom, a common restroom for the rest of the tournament. Topalov's manager actually accused Kramnik of running of for too many bathroom breaks. The allegation was that during these breaks, Kramnik was secretly using a computer or some other piece of equipment to help him with his game moves. Kramnik is the Classical World Campion while Tapalov is the World Chess Champion. These two men are playing in an attempt to reunify the chess world since 1993. In 1993, Garry Kasparov severed with the World Chess Federation. Kramnik is afflicted with rheumatoid arthritis and insists that he needs more space while in a bathroom.