(AP) - Foreigners who visit the United States will now get an ear tag that has a tracking chip embedded inside. Homeland Security hopes this will ease the minds of nervous Americans concerned about foreign terrorists.
The government has implemented a new security feature that all international passengers must pass through immediately after arriving in U.S. airports. Operation Security Psychic mandates that all international visitors must be read by a qualified psychic before leaving the gate. Hidden security makes sure that this is enforced. He or she will perform the standard psychic readings ( i.e. tarot card reading, a palm reading, as well as, scrying in the crystal ball). If he/she "sees" any terrorist or threatening behavior in the visitor's future, the psychic simply presses an emergency button next to them. This alerts all security forces, who will then detain the visitor.
After scanning the retena of the passengers eye, a database of information will alert the processor of any information needed. If a code 'red', or, a passenger has some unresolved issues, the scanner immediately protrudes a small needle into their eye, passing into the brain. This then releases a large amount of nerve toxins, rendering the passenger paralized untill they can be detained.
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